Abs of the Month

In The Beginning?

Woof! Woof! Woof! These are the words that haunted me my entire childhood. These are the words that up until just recently have continued to haunt me in my dreams almost every night. You see, I was always fat! My entire childhood was one of absolute torture. The other kids in school would all get together in the hallways and bark at me. They would spit on me. They would constantly call me names and tell me that I was the most grotesque human being on the planet. This abuse went on for more than 10 years. And in all honesty, it is only recently that I realized they were wrong!

Everyday after school I would run home crying and once I got there I would throw up. At 13 years old, not only was I more than 200 pounds, but now I was becoming a nervous wreck. These kids made me feel like I was not worth living. My family would tell me how beautiful I was, but it didn't matter. After all, they were my family - they HAD to think I was beautiful. Over the next several years I evolved. I went from a fat, depressed, child to a severely depressed, anxiety ridden adult.

At 19 years old, I had already developed several nervous conditions and a social disorder. I was miserable and I was sinking deeper and deeper in my own black hole. I thought maybe if I was thinner, I would feel better about myself - but I wanted instant gratification. I wanted to be 110 pounds overnight and I started trying anything I could, to get me there as quickly as possible. I would starve myself, take laxatives, diuretics and try any fad diet I could get my hands on! Not only did I not lose weight, I continued to gain. I was more depressed than ever and it was at that point I started drinking very heavily.

Going to the local bar and getting completely drunk had become a nightly routine. Half the time I didn't remember who I was with or how I got home. About a year later my best friend had a party at her house for Memorial Day and I guess I made a fool out of myself one too many times, because when I called her the next day she basically told me that I was a drunk and she no longer wanted to be friends. This girl was like my sister, and sisters are supposed to love each other unconditionally.

I knew I must have done some truly rotten things for her to be THIS angry with me. It was that moment when I made up my mind. I was going to start over. I was going to join a gym and start exercising. I was going to learn everything I could about proper nutrition and that is how I was going to start eating. I was going to get rid of anything negative in my life. Over the next few years, that is exactly what I did.

Joining the gym was a huge obstacle to overcome because I always felt like people were laughing at me or talking about me and although it was extremely hard for me at first, over time, it did get easier. I made a few friends at the gym and they were all very helpful in teaching me how to use the different machines, as well as the free weights. I started out going to the gym 2-3 days a week and I was buying every single health/bodybuilding/nutrition magazine I could find.

About 4 weeks after joining the gym, I started noticing incredible changes in my body. My waist got smaller, my arms were no longer just fat, now they had a shape, and best of all, my butt was tighter and higher! (I always admired bodybuilder's and fitness athletes' backsides - and now I was on my way to having one.) I remember thinking to myself, if I made this kind of progress from working out 3 days a week, imagine what I would look like if I started working out 5 days a week. From that moment on, I have been hooked! I went from a size 16 to a size 6 and I have never felt better!

A lot of people in the gym couldn't help but notice the transformation I made to my body and a few people asked me if I had ever considered competing. At that moment, in my head, I pictured myself on stage holding a trophy yelling into the audience, "Here I am everyone - remember me? I am the fat girl you used to push around and torment. I am that ugly dog that you used to bark at in the hallways at school.

Well take a good look at me now!" I have always felt like those kids and their hurtful words have held me down, now I was going to use it to help me. I took all the energy I'd been wasting over the years on these mean kids and I used it to motivate me.

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